52 Pick Up: Silhouette – Accepting Reality


Don’t you hate it when your expectations and reality simply don’t agree with each other?!?!?

I started the week out with the most creative ideas to capture my silhouette photos, but somehow failed to remember just how busy the week was going to be.  How is it possible that I forgot the meetings, the kid’s extra curricular and social calendars and my forever looming pile of marking?  In reality I was hard pressed to get a decent supper on the table each day, let alone capture the creative silhouette photos I had in mind.

In the end I had to readjust my expectations and look for something a little less lofty to photograph.  Simply put I had to change my expectations so they would match my reality.

I have to do this with my youngest daughter as well.  The two of us are cut from the same cloth, and is easily disappointed and frustrated when reality is not matching up with expectations.  Bottom line, some people are more flexible and can switch gears on the fly so to speak.  My husband is one of these people.  Others like myself and my youngest daughter, struggle in changing directions.  Over the years I have been able to somewhat manage my own fixed sightedness, but I am still having to teach my daughter strategies in this regard.

All to often she develops a mental picture of how she envisions an event playing out, but if this changes I have to make sure to take the time to explain the changes and help her change her mental picture.  if this mental shift doesn’t occur she becomes sulky and frustratingly demanding.  One day she will be able to do this without my help, but for now I have to remember to be patient with her and not allow myself to be frustrated in the very character weakness I too possess.

Over the years she has tried to come up with  her own strategies for coping with this as well.  It drives others, and admittedly myself, crazy sometimes but she is the kind of kid who needs to know exactly what is happening.  The further in advance she obtains and internalizes this information, the more settled she is.  Some argue she is simply a child who thrives on order and schedule.  You could say this, but truly she is a child who needs the details so she can create her mental picture.  She wants to get that mental picture right the first time, because it is hard for her to switch gears.  I know in time she will handle the diagreements between reality and expectation with a little more finesse but for now it is my job to help her.

This week was a good reminder for me as to exactly how similar we are.  There was a huge disagreement between my reality and expectation and as the week progressed, I found myself becoming more and more frustrated that I couldn’t find the time to take the photos I wanted.  Once I readjusted my expectations I was more focused and in the end quite pleased with the silhouette images I captured.

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13 thoughts on “52 Pick Up: Silhouette – Accepting Reality

  1. These are beautiful silhouettes, I love the light in the second one.
    The good thing for your daughter is that you can really help her. Having the same trait of character, you can understand and guide her better than anyone else.

  2. Great pics and story/lesson as well. my son, according to our dr., was the “poster child for ADHD”. We have developed strategies over the years to help him compensate for his weaknesses and enhance his strengths. In that process, I have learned so much about myself. Thanks for your reminder this morning.

    • It is interesting how the most frustrating elements of your child’s behaviour are often rooted in our own struggles. You just have to be willing to look a little deeper into ourselves so we can help our children cope. I’m glad you enjoyed my post today.

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